Wednesday 30 December 2009

Doctor Who – Scavenger Hunt

Part 4 – The Meadow

In a peaceful meadow, nestled within a huge forest somewhere in Britain, numerous creatures that man has not seen in generations went about their lives; eating, sleeping, grazing and hunting. Then, as if from nowhere, the humming and churning of an ancient craft’s engines faded into the area. The swirls and groans of the TARDIS echoed out through the woods and the wildlife ran for cover into their respective holes and hideouts. The impossible choice had been made.

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With the softened squeek of the TARDIS’ old door, The Doctor stepped out into the bright sunlight of prehistoric world they had tracked the other TARDIS back to; Martha followed swiftly after.

“Here we are then!” the Doctor said in his ever chirpy tone

“And where is here?” Marhta asked

“Weeeell, the TARDIS tracked us back about 12,000 years or so… give or take a decade or two”

“But why now? There wasn’t even any real civilisation in the Upper Palaeolithic era, let alone the need for alien technology!”

The Time Lord turned to his companion and examined her with an obscure expression, as if staring long enough would somehow explain why she knew so much about the previous time periods of man instead of simply asking. But this was a familiar trait with the Doctor, so she answered the non existent question for him

“A level history, I wrote an essay on the evolution of man, don’t ask”

“I wasn’t going to” the Doctor said with a slight laugh

“So why would the…other TARDIS be here?”

The Doctor looked up into the silent skies as if he could hear something she couldn’t, it turned out this was actually true, as he uttered in a slightly worried voice “I think we’re about to find out”

The roaring sounds of an alien object began to blast its way over the skies as it entered the atmosphere and burnt across the affluent blue. From within the mighty ocean of heavens came a large black object, growing nearer and nearer with an increasing volume that cracked like thunder and boomed like a torpedo. Then it crashed into the meadow in a ball of flames in a mighty crater of dirt and mud covered rocks. The two travelers came running over to the pit, inside which was the fallen object; a large elongated cylinder about the size of a car. Though covered in dirt and scratches, the natural reflective silver skin of the object was still very abundant. At the end of the cylinder was a long spike white protruded from the centre of it and outwards beyond the length of the outer shell.

“That looks like a jet engine” Martha admired

“It’s a shock core, part of a very large engine from a delta cruiser, these things fly off all the time; it’s like shedding a rotor blade on a boat.”

Martha insisted cautiously “If it’s something so trivial then why do you sound so concerned?”

“Torchwood never found a shock core, in fact I’ve never heard of any delta cruiser technology ever found on Earth, they hardly ever come to this side of the galaxy” the Doctor pondered as he began to look into the sky “unless someone else found it first…” and as if from nowhere an enormous ship floated over the meadow. From the ground, the shadow made it virtually impossible to comprehend the full size of the ship but he knew one thing for sure “scavengers!”

A bellowing horn pelted out a low blast of sound as a round hatch opened on the underbelly of the ship, from within this shone a large purple light which lurched towards the surface. The light encapsulated the shock core and began to raise it into the air. The Doctor grabbed Martha’a hand and jumped on top of the engine part with her, they gained speed as the silver bullet hurtled up into the bowls of the ship, then there was nothing; just black.

TO BE CONTINUED

Saturday 26 December 2009

Doctor Who – Scavenger Hunt

Part 3 – The Impossible Choice

What was this incredible find that the final Time Lord now looked upon with his faithful companion in similar disbelief. He pulled himself forward and swiftly crawled on his hands and knees up to the opening in the clock. Though different to the Doctor’s coral interior design, there was no mistaking the TARDIS control room inside. Despite the obvious fact that it was bigger on the inside, there was a wide sweeping staircase that spun out from the opening and could be seen on the far side nearing the lower ground floor, from which there was a huge engine pillar the was glowing a soft blue – no matter how long it had been waiting there, the life of the TARDIS could not be extinguished, it was almost like it was waiting for the Doctor to arrive. And now here was here, and the engine groaned again, as if to suggest it was waking from a slumber – welcoming its Gallifreyan comrade to the resting place it had waited in for so long.

GW800H600 The Doctor, still suffering from the silent shock which spawned a rumbling of double heartbeats throughout his chest, continued to pant as he stared in disbelief at the room he still refused to accept he was seeing. Then there was a grip on his arm; it was Martha.

“Doctor?” she asked softly. He didn’t even notice her intervention on the moment.

“Doctor!” she said louder. he snapped out of it and his head jerked across to see her "Should we…go inside?”

“I don’t….I can’t…”

“Calm down Doctor,” Martha pulled him to his feet “let’s just go inside and see it”

tardisintThey took steps together, ducking beneath the low entry of the clock’s door and finding their way through the dim light of the sleepy shadowed TARDIS to the bottom of the stairs. Around the room and the levels of the console platform were lights glowing at strategic intervals that hung in the dark like stars in the night sky. From the bottom level Martha looked up to the door above on the opposite side where a blaze of Arizona sunlight shone through. She was in amazement, much like she was when she first entered the Doctor’s TARDIS for the first time. Her Time Lord friend had already jumped ahead of her and started clicking buttons and leavers to try and revive the ancient travelling machine. Suddenly the room filled with light and the real theme came to life; it was a large square shaped room with dark, almost granite coloured walls which falsely looked as if they bent slightly towards the roof, upon which was an amazing piece of art; circles and stars of different colours all enveloped within each other, closing in to the central circle which bore a strikingly realistic painting of a blood soaked lion standing proud over the carcass of his defeated foe – a great bear.

The Doctor peered up at the art with his mouth open for many minutes, trying to decipher what the art meant or which Time Lord it might have belonged to. So many of the Time Lords personalised their ship to make their own mark; even the most ferocious took part in this almost ritualistic act. Even so, with the amount of Time Lords he had known and the numerous TARDISes he had seen gave him far too many possibilities and not one that matched this specific design. He slumped down onto the chair large leather seat in front of the control console and thought silently to himself for a few moments. Martha cautiously approached and sat with him, not knowing what he might do or say next; this was obviously a huge moment in the Doctor’s life, the size of this moment was unlike anything she had encountered so far and she had absolutely no idea what was going to happen next. Unfortunately it wouldn’t take more than a few seconds to come.

“Martha…” the Doctor muttered “…this TARDIS, do you know what it represents?” he turned to her

“Not really” she felt a little silly for not knowing the answer

“This TARDIS is the vessel of my people, the survival of this ship is a beacon; a symbol that Time Lords never die. Oh Martha, if we knew what this ship knew, if we could have seen what this TARDIS had seen…” then he stopped. He sat bolt upright and pulled his glasses off “THAT’S IT!” he shouted and dropped to the floor in front of the chair.

“What is it?” but the Doctor didn’t answer. Pulling out his sonic screwdriver he shone it over the metallic clamps of an access panel, peeled the floor open and dived inside to investigate a great torrent of machinery, wires, cables and lights; behind which he disappeared. All was quiet for a moment, then Martha asked again

“Doctor! What is it?”

Then his upper half surfaced again to address her

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“If I can reconnect the signaling matrix I can find out where this TARDIS has been, if we do that, we can go back and find out who left it there…”

He continued to fumble and switch with instruments under the metal surface, then there was another silence. After a moment or two, a new section that had remained dormant and dark lit up. The Doctor sprung up from under the level and rushed over to the section which had a screen attached to it, he pulled it around and started analysing the display with is specs on. Martha was 10 minutes behind him, she still hadn’t gotten her head around this situation, let alone try to comprehend what the Doctor was doing about it, so she just stood there watching in silence – wishing she could somehow help.

“Aahhh the tracking system is damaged!” the Doctor said in a frustrated fuss. He ran his hand through his hair and scratched away for a few seconds at his infinitely clever head. Then he stepped back again, looking a little upset with something he had just realised.

“Martha… this TARDIS is different”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, my TARDIS is old and derelict; it isn’t meant to exist. It was only chance that brought the ship to me, stealing it from the decommissioning yard was lucky for both of us. Even so, that TARDIS is old and broken. It’s falling apart and slowly it is dying, but this TARDIS Martha, this TARDIS is unspoilt, it won’t ever make a mistake and it can take us further than we’ve ever been before – to the furthest reaches of the galaxy and back in the blink of a eye…” he paused “…but to do that I’d have to reboot the static loops and we’d lose the tracking co-ordinates”

“So we have a choice…” Martha said

“An impossible choice” he told her. He began to walk slowly around the island of the console, looking at the towering engine while running his right hand lightly over the buttons and gadgets on the more modern console; the kind of console he hadn’t seen in 2 regenerations. Martha waited patiently for him to speak again. As he approached the full lap of the control room he stopped and looked at her “Either we go forward with a new TARDIS and explore new words, or we go back and find out how this got here. But if we intervene, I can’t guarantee where this ship will end up, so it’s one or the other…”

TO BE CONTINUED

Thursday 24 December 2009

Happy Holidays

I decided to change a few things this week, not enough happened to justify a daily post of events, instead I’ll just do a quick recap and then get on with my xmas eve message :)

Monday – Shopping! Oh the shopping! Far too much time in Hanley buying nothing at all, oh well, I managed to get 99% of my gifts sorted that day. I also planned my travel arrangements for the following day to get down to Mum’s.

Tuesday – Oh haiii packed trains and cold weather! What an idiot, leaving the house without a scarf! Oh well, managed to get down without my face turning into a massive icicle… just about. Was nice to be back in the countryside again. Mum’s house is nice and festively decorated, which is what the house in Stoke kind of lacks. Still, no need to worry about that anymore!

Wednesday – Managed to face the fear of fear itself, took a trip out to the shops with mum and was surprisingly calm the whole time! Travel tablets are a bloody miracle, can’t believe I didn’t put more faith in them before now! Steve, Lynn, Sophie, Katie and Granny Sue arrived later that day too and it’s amazing to be reunited with them all for the first time in years!

Thursday – Mmmm xmas eve! Well today has been quite uneventful to be frank, bit of relaxing, applied for a job and now there’s a large loud party (of sorts) shaking up from downstairs. I’m in my room just chilling out, it’s cool. Gunna hit the buffet in a while :)

 

So, that over and done with, it’s time for me to make a real jump into the festive style blogging!

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So it’s Christmas Eve, the night before the biggest day of the year. The day everyone looks forward to. In fact it’s just 5 hours and 10 minutes until it officially happens; and how am I feeling about it? Great actually. This year has been one of the most evolutionary for me, I know that in the times I blogged over the year I’ve said some things that are a positive, some things that are negative and some things that are downright boring. Even so, everything that happens to us is something we develop from, and in this festive season I’m looking forward to the big day more than ever. Last Christmas it had only been a month since I revealed my biggest secret and I was still and very anxious person, so that Christmas was hard for me to deal with in one way or another. But this year I’ve had time to develop, time to prepare, time to think and time to get excited! I really can’t wait for Christmas this year and to be told I’m looking much healthier than last time I was here is a really big compliment for me, so I’m even more positive now! It’s awesome.

Anyway my friends, I’ll blog again tomorrow about what I got and how Christmas Day went for me and the family, so stay tuned!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good…


Night x

Sunday 20 December 2009

A week in the life: Day 1

Sunday – Victory Dance

Today I got up at another normal time, it’s odd how much different things are when you sleep regular hours. In fairness they’re still not that regular – half past midnight until about 9:30am is still a few hours shifted forward in most normal people’s view, ho hum. Today was the end of a 2 week stint of my life where all I did was pay attention to the world of Facebook, in particular the Rage4xmas campaign. Nobody ever thought the campaign would get near the top 10, let alone number 1 – even Chris Moyles’ breakfast show on Radio 1 played a daily jingle saying that Joe would win the top spot and that “all the other acts should throw in the towel” – unfortunately they got it completely wrong. Still, getting up at 6 every day to listen to Moyles was quite fun, before crashing out for a few more hours of sleep.

The days are crazily short now; the sun rises from the far left hand side of my bedroom window at about 7:30am and doesn’t reach far above the row of houses across the alley from mine, so I get about 6 hours of proper sunlight every day – strangely enough it’s been very sunny lately so that’s an upside I guess. Time seemed to just float by today, things were easy to come by, drumming was a good release of energy and I managed to record a bit of freestyle drumming, though it needs to be edited.

Popped to the Spar for some food but my card was declined. Strange, as I was sure I still had plenty of cash in that account. Went to Minton News and used the cash machine – ta da, hello money. What was wrong with Spar? Oh well, they lost out on my custom! Though I was really looking forward to those bbq Pringles I had planned to buy.

Still snowy and icy in Stoke!

The chart show started on Radio 1 and my adrenaline started to go a bit mental. The next 3 hours went surprisingly fast, at 6:30 I listened to those top 5 songs and waited for the predictions of the Rage success to come true. The adrenaline became so bad for me that I started to feel really sick, and I wasn’t the only one! Several people said they felt the same about the situation, maybe I’m not so mental after all. As the number 3 track (Lady Gaga) played, I couldn’t stand it anymore so I went into the shower, knowing that by the time I came out the nation would know and I could just see the result on the Facebook group’s wall – which I did, and my hopes were answered! But it took a good half an hour for my body to relax again!

Chatted to Harry for a bit before going to the shop for some dinner. Unfortunately both Spar and Minton News had closed their shutters and I was forced to get chips from Brunchies as a fall back – not the most filling/healthy of dinners, oh well, Spag Bol tomorrow night!! One thing I did notice out on my travels today is how icy it is! There’s a layer of ice under all the snow that’s still here, so it’s really hard just to get down the street. All is soon to change though, I called Mum earlier and arranged to go to her house on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Despite the lack of independent activities available there, I want to get away from here – everyone else already has!

Watched another episode of Sarah Jane Adventures (got lots left to watch before Friday) and now I’m chilling to a nice mix of stuff on iTunes. Here’s today’s rightful song choice – it’s Rage’s first UK number 1, the first ever download-only number 1 and the best selling first week download single of all time too; it’s KILLING IN THE NAME!!

Reno x

Saturday 19 December 2009

The rollercoaster

Good evening my lovely readers! Glad to have you back at my little spot. So, what’s going on? Well it appears this RATM vs. XFACTOR thing has exploded. It’s kinda crazy, because I’ve watched the group grow since the early days of the campaign and watching the way it has spiraled up into the proverbial mountain top of musical competition has just been insane! Last week nobody took us seriously (and yes Harry, I will continue to use the word ‘us’, as the group is now a community – a group effort to make this happen and I am an active part of it, so sue me). Now, we’re getting numerous plays on Radio 1 every day, interviews on Sky News, the BBC have taken a lot of interest (thanks to 5 Live for arranging the live performance) and the numerous other tabloids and media outlets for at least giving us the coverage up to now, though most of it has been slanderous slur from the mouths of establishment enforcing morons who can’t stand to see a different view on society and culture. Still, we got here. 5 hours until the count ends (midnight Saturday) and we’re going to find out if we can fulfill the prophecy we all hoped for. Tomorrow I’m going to start my new ‘Week in the Life of’ column on here so come back regularly to see a little peek into my life on Christmas week!

Reno x

(P.S – I’m bringing back the song of the day on my blog, so here’s today’s classic from Portishead!)

Monday 14 December 2009

Merry Ragemas Everyone!

It Has Begun!

So, if all goes to plan this week, we’ll see the X Factor defeated to it’s regular position of number 1 in the UK this Sunday, having ruined the yearly intentions of the money spinning, square headed fame pusher Simon Cowell. It’s time to get Rage Against the Machine’s classic track Killing in the Name to the Christmas number 1!

Reality Inbound

It appears that over 700,000 people aren’t happy with the way that music is monopolized and smeared over TV screens in an attempt to make money through advertising while building so much hype up to who is going to win while destroying people’s dreams on a weekly basis, and then they are forgotten, kicked to the curb like last year’s toy. Can you remember any ex finalists from previous years? It would appear that this pathetic game of reality music TV is getting more and more annoying every year.

And in the end, that’s what the X Factor is; a circus. A coliseum whereby the masses sit and judge a few people who are naive and simple minded enough to believe that there really is glory in the process of entering the competition, what with Hello! Magazine selling your personal secrets to the braindead masses who breathe in the lives of ‘celebrities’ like it’s crack cocaine, giving them a rush because they can find out that Peter Andre’s left nipple is that little bit rounder than the other, or an article describing the ways in which Britney is a bad mother or how the world really needs photographs of the next orange celeb’s wedding. On top of that, you get 10 million odd people making their opinions on people who, they in themselves, have absolutely no idea about how to sing themselves. I know when I wrote my blog earlier this year entitled Responsibilities of a Gramophone I angered a lot of people in my opinions not only of the way pop stars conduct themselves but also the way the words they sing and the integrity of their music beyond the shiny layer of bleach blonde hair and £5000 outfits used for just one music video. After this rant I decided to be less of a tight arsed, snobby little shit and listen to more pop music simply to enjoy how it sounds (and yes, some of it is actually awesome – particularly my affinity with La Roux this autumn) but my opinions of how ‘real music’ should be remains, because I still believe that music without instruments, the kind of music that involves 4 guys sat on stools with a CD player in the background while the mime the lyrics to ‘their’ song (most likely written by someone else and therefore has no real emotional or personal connection to them) just looks to me like a travesty of how the industry now works – flooded with the same pretty boys and slutty girls who just want that five minutes of fame, the ones who will latch onto that publicity by selling their lives off like it’s a yard sale – and it really is a shame to me that this is what society has come to. Britain used to be a shining light in terms of music production – some of the stuff that came from this country has changed the world, but now we have nothing to be truely proud of on a global level, just manufactured artists who are molded into the same shape year after year by Cowell and his cronies, simply for the sake of making millions of pounds for themselves – that is all it comes down to; after all, why have 2 X Factor winners been dropped from their labels? Do you REALLY think he loves music? Even Cheryl Cole complained that there was a rock week on X Factor this year, is that really a fucking crime? Jesus.

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The time of reckoning!

Anyway, back to the point, I urge you all to buy Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine this week (any time up to midnight on Saturday  19th) for the sake of showing that people really do have a voice in this country, a way to bring REAL music back to the people. The fact that it is Christmas number one isn’t the essentiality of the situation, the reason this has been done is to disrupt Cowell at the time he attempts to flourish the most. The fact it’s around Christmas (which is a coveted chart position anyway) is just beneficial because it will have even more impact on the134x160_ratm_xmas_no1 public when they see what can be done! I remember the days when, in the early naughties, nu-metal was the coolest thing in music. Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park and Papa Roach may seem done and dusted now, but it was a sign that there can be an alternative over produced tripe, and this campaign is more than proof that people want it! Just look at the kind of coverage we’ve got; BBC Radio 1, Five Live and 6 Music, as well as mentions on BBC One and News 24, Sky News, Kerrang! Radio, The Independent, The Metro, The Sun and countless online publications! On top of that we have celebrities such as Bill Bailey and Stephen Fry backing us as well as Rage’s guitarist Tom Morello too. We have the power, the publicity and the promise, now let’s make it happen!

 

Giving in the Name…

Some people have said that if everyone in the UK’s most traffic heavy Facebook group (and base of opperations for the whole campaign) has given the money to charity instead of buying the Rage song then it would be a more worthy cause, which may be so, but at the same time it isn’t as if the campaign is without charitable intentions, in fact it is far from it – £20,000 has been raised for the charity Shelter through the Facebook group. You can donate here!

 

Rally the Troops!

Think about it, the biggest chart surprise in history, the last ever number 1 of this decade put there by us! Don’t say “it’ll never happen” – defeatist talk never got anyone anywhere, oh and drop the Sonynewone argument, it’s not even relevant! The biggest aim of this campaign is to have fun, so going a little overboard with ‘where the money is going’ is just silly! Right, with that out of the way, it’s time for me to say goodbye and time for you to go buy your copies of the single! Get on it! For more info, check out the Amped blog with more links on where you can buy! http://ampedwales.wordpress.com/

Merry Ragemas everyone!
Reno

Thursday 26 November 2009

Doctor Who – Scavenger Hunt

Part 2 – The masterpiece

“That’s impossible” the Time Lord cried

“I know,” Martha said “just like I told you.”

“A grandfather clock in the middle of an excavation site, it doesn’t make any sense! Still, from what you’ve said Martha this seems to be an important part of your history, maybe we should just…”

“What…?”

“Leave” The Doctor looked sincerely at his comrade who was worried she wouldn’t achieve her dream of discovering the truth of this mystery she had read so much about, but then he cracked a huge smile and she knew the adventure was on. They walked together across the great plane of dust and sand and scattered shrubs toward the dig site in the far distance. The air was warm, though it carried a soft breeze upon it like waves of clarity upon an invisible ocean which swept the end of the Doctor’s long brown coat around as he walked and Martha’s hair was all over the place. As they neared, a lot of the staff involved in the dig appeared to move off and head back to the camp on the other side of the hill in a large group. Martha and the Doctor could hear them talking wildly and frantically as the hysteria of the clock’s origin exploded into a thousand possibilities. Luckily, the two travelers went unnoticed and they were able to walk straight through to the area where the clock stood; still half buried in dirt.

clock1

“That is gorgeous” the Doctor said

“But how did it get here?”

“I dunno… spatial time disruption?" the Doctor mused as he put his specs on “The amount of things that have happened to the timelines over the last few years could have moved anything pretty much anywhere! You’re lucky the Earth is still spinning!”

At that moment, a security guard tapped on the Doctor’s shoulder

“Can I help you?” he grumbled. The Doctor fumbled in his pocket and pulled out his psychic paper and held it updw200502-027

“I’m Doctor John Smith of the London natural history museum and this is my graduate intern Martha Jones.”

“Hi” she said and smiled. The guard examined the blank paper for a few moments with intense  scrutiny while the mysterious London Doctor continued

“We’re here to see Phillips’ amazing find, we won’t be here for too long!”

“Go on then” the guard said, to which Martha turned, jumped into the lower part of the dig and dashed over to the clock. Placing her hand upon it, she received an electric shock which threw her back.

“Careful Martha” the Doctor said as he caught up to his companion, who was now sat on the ground. He crouched down in front of the clock and pulled out his sonic screwdriver which was already glowing without him even pressing a button on it “That’s odd,” he said “it doesn’t usually do that unless…”

“Unless what?” Martha insisted, but the Doctor didn’t reply. Instead, he pressed the main switch of the screwdriver forward and allowed it to buzz for a few moments – then everything changed. As if by magic the clock began to tick, then from within it came a familiar sound – a noise he and so many others knew as the sign of a Time Lord’s presence.

“It can’t be” Martha looked desperately at the Doctor

Not believing in his own fear of what Phillips had found he reached out slowly for the golden knob on the front door of the clock. He pulled, and with a jerk it opened out; throwing the Doctor to the floor much like Martha beside him. Then, as the dust settled he could see inside, the sight he knew could not exist, and yet there it was; the mighty control room of a TARDIS.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Monday 23 November 2009

Doctor Who – Scavenger Hunt

PROLOGUE





Part 1 – The Impossible Find

“Come on Doctor!" Martha shouted from the doors of the TARDIS, she received no reply

”Doctor!” still nothing “Doctor!!”

The Time Lord opened swept into the control room from some other random part of the TARDIS

”Could you shout any louder?” he asked sarcastically. Martha blushed a little and felt somewhat silly for being so over excited, still, she had asked so many times to go to the grand canyon. For the Doctor, this was the first time his new companion had asked for something so simple

“Are you sure you want to go here? It’s just a dried up river bed! I could take you to see the tunnels of Gorxious! Now that’s a bobsled ride you’d never forget. Or at least let me take you to when the grand canyon was full, it’s so…boring now!” he insisted

You would have thought almost crashing into a sun would have been enough excitement for a while – Martha though to herself. “Come on Doctor” she smiled and turned out through the doors

tardis-inside

“Humans, I dunno”  he said, grabbing his coat

Outside, the Doctor jogged to catch up with his companion, who was power walking towards a settlement in the distance.

“If I wasn’t mistaken Martha Jones, I’d think you brought us here for a reason”

Martha didn’t look at him, she just replied “and why’s that?”

“Well I dunno… I was hoping noticing that would be enough for you to tell me!”doctor2

Martha turned to the Doctor and asked him what he saw here

“I…” he muttered “I see sand” he said, immediately admitting defeat to what Martha was obviously hoping he would find

“I was hoping you of all people would see it Doctor”

“See what?!” he insisted

“History” she said, and walked on. The Doctor, shocked and impressed, smiled and continued. As they neared the settlement ahead, Martha revealed more about why she wanted to visit on this exact date

“A few months before I met you I read a newspaper article about a dig in the grand canyon, they found something impossible, something nobody could believe”

The Doctor smiled again, “So you didn’t want something boring after all"” he grinned

“Never!” she chuckled

They arrived at the small group of tents and trailers a few minutes later, the wind blew dust around the site and the place was deserted.

“So much for the excitement,” Martha said “I wonder where everyone is!”

The door of a trailer to their left opened quickly and a short teenage lad fell out with his arms full of rolled up papers, blueprints and an assortment of other documents. He lost his footing and crashed to the ground; the papers following him. Martha and the Doctor rushed over and helped him up

“Thank you” he said in a slightly high American accent “who are you?”

“I’m Martha and this is the Doctor”

“Hello!” the alien traveler chirped

“Actually,” an older British voice grunted from behind them “I’M the doctor on this site”

The companions turned to see a short plump man with a bristly white mustache and pale clothes standing before them. He was no more than five feet in height but he made up for this in the grand-canyon-tonto-trail-arizona-az0073bluntness of his attitude and his volume.

“Jeffrey, you’re bloody useless!” he snorted

“Sorry sir!” the American pleaded as he scrambled all the different pieces of work back into a pile he could carry again. Then he shuffled past them, up a path and disappeared over a hill, Martha was curious as to where exactly he was shuffling off to.

“This dig site is protected by law, we’ll have nobody spying on our findings thank you very much!”

“And what exactly have you found?” the Doctor asked. The short man looked a little shocked, somewhat excited and then composed himself

“All in good time Doctor, all in good time” he smiled “soon you shall hear the story of the greatest find man has ever made.” The Doctor looked suspiciously at him “Now, if you don’t mind leaving, we have a lot to do.”

The two companions turned away and began to walk towards the TARDIS, now a blue dot in the distance. The Doctor turned to Martha and asked her straight “What did they find?”

“I think it would be better if you saw for yourself.” she told him. They walked a long way around the area and ended up on a hill that overlooked a large open area of the canyon. In the distance was a large tower of rock and a group of people surrounding the base. From within his jacket pocket, which the Doctor shook and fumbled with, he pulled out a pair of binoculars. Martha was shocked for a minute and then she realized;

“Bigger on the inside…”

Catching focus on the area, the Doctor scanned from left to right as he saw Jeffrey and Doctor Phillips arriving back at the dig site.

The pompous Brit pushed his way through the scientists and other experts at the site, insisting on seeing his prize “Move, move, let me see it!” they moved, and there before him stood the most impossible thing they could ever have discovered; a huge grandfather clock, sticking out of the orange dirt.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sunday 15 November 2009

22

Wow, so my last blog stirred up a lot of fuss! I didn’t realise so many people actually read my blog and I was so unaware how fast news travels. There are a few things I need to clear up before we get onto today’s blog. Firstly, I should have made far more exceptions to the people who got the shit thrown at them than just Jenna. Bexx is one of them, as is AJ and also Millie, Kay and Liz. The question about being expendable was more a rhetorical question to the people who don’t talk to me anymore, not those of you I still have contact with. Even so, I stick to some of the things I said, not many people do make an effort with me, it’s just fact. Also, I need to clear up that my plans to move to Exeter aren’t immediate – sorry for not making that very clear. I won’t be moving there until next June/July. I want to move there and start over, so when that time comes and there literally is no connection between us then prepare to see no more of me on your Facebook or MSN etc. No second chances, that’s the rule. I’ll be closing off the first 22 and a half years of my life and starting a brand new one with just a select few of you. So that’s the clarification of that over and done with, lets get on with THIS post!

Today I turn 22 and I can say that I am a free man.

Well, near enough. It’s been a year since I revealed my biggest secret to the world and a lot has changed, though the biggest part of it has to be the changes I’ve seen in the last 5 weeks. Things fell to an all time low from last week through to this Tuesday when I wrote my latest post – when I wrote that I was quite literally at my lowest, so I apologise for the generally negative tone about myself and everyone out there. I don’t know what happened but it all changed Wednesday, I wasn’t doing anything special, in fact I went into Hanley for the first time in over a week just to sign on. Strangely though, when I got into town I wasn’t anxious and I wasn’t thinking “all i want to do is go home” as I usually do. I wasn’t dizzy or spaced out in the shops, I was just normal. In fact, it got to the point where I was willing to throw away all of my safety nets (you might have seen me carrying that water round on chomping on mints previously) but I just felt like I didn’t need them anymore! It was an amazingly uplifting feeling, but in case that was just a momentary thing and my anxiety came back Thursday or Friday then I’d better go to my new fallback plan; Kalms tablets. I’d used them to stay calm at a gig before and I thought maybe they’d help in the future, especially with how much I’d been panicking recently. The women in Boots were so nice, they said things like “you’re too young to be stressed!” and when I said I didn’t need them today because I was feeling good they said “yeah you’re looking good” – being told that is such a great reinforcement, especially from a stranger. The rest of that day was a breeze, I didn’t actually want to leave town but I had no reason to stay after visiting Rowfers and Wilko’s so I headed back and had a relaxed afternoon. Following this, I went to Gobble – possibly the best Gobble I’ve ever been to. No the music wasn’t any less cheesy and the place wasn’t any less scummy, but I didn’t give into anxiety, my lost friend was avoiding me instead of the other way around and I stayed all the way to the end. It was bloody brilliant, a stranger even asked me to be her bf! Haha. Anyway, it is fair to say that Wednesday changed my life, and I’m so glad it did – it is proof to myself and to the world that after a year I held to my promise and I’m now getting past my issues – SCORE.

Today is my 22nd birthday and I want to thank you all for your birthday wishes and lovely comments, calls, texts, emails and wall posts. I ruined my 21st by being a fool and getting priorities wrong, along with putting my fear/anxiety ahead of stuff too. Today I’m going to rectify that! Catch you later kids :D

Reno x

Tuesday 10 November 2009

And the rest, as they say…

…is history.

Fresh start, new design and a new vision for the future.

I’d like to say I have a clearer head than I have of late, but this isn’t true. Things are more confusing than ever and I really don’t know where I’m going anymore. Oh well.

I was going to start a new series of posts called Diary of a Free Man – based on my ongoing therapy and attempts to sort my head out but things aren’t going to plan as much as I hoped and therefore it wouldn’t be a good place to go to if you wanted news on me. I actually hate my life now. I really don’t have many people left in my life that I trust or really hold high anymore. They’re either gone or aren’t who I thought they were. Just as emetophobia stops me seeing possibilities for my future, my disgust for who people are stops me seeing any real meaningful connection with those people. So yeah, things are falling apart on both fronts; I need people to help me get through my issues but I don’t have anyone who means anything to me anymore and I don’t mean anything to anyone anymore either.

If you’re a friend of mine, really think about this, when was the last time you struck up a conversation with me? When did you really make the effort just to talk? Then think about the amount of times I’ve made conversation with you, or sent you a text asking to hang out or just seeing how you are. No effort, no respect, no care – not from any of you. In fact the only person who ever really bothers with me on that front is Jenna, and I love her for having that resilience and care. I really can’t think of anyone else who makes a real effort with me anymore and it’s a question I ask myself every day; why am I so expendable? What makes me so easy for you to turn your back on, and why am I so easy to leave behind without a second look? You tell me, because enough people have done it to me this year.

This is why I’m moving away from here. I can’t hang around this place full of bad memories and lifeless connections with whoever else is left here. It’s pathetic that I even decided to stay here and tried to keep something real going when there really is nothing left for me.

Next stop Exeter.

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Tuesday 3 November 2009

Better off without you

This week I’ve learnt a lot about betrayal, lies and the worth of my friendship to some people. This year I’ve had a lot of people turn their backs on me for no reason, but I didn’t expect you’d be one of them. This year I made a blanket rule – no second chances, and even when I made an exception for you, you still managed to walk all over it. Here’s a message to everyone who knows me, play nice or fuck off. I’ve had enough of people lying and taking advantage of me – using me for their own pathetic problems and then leaving me behind, well fuck you. You’re not even worth these words, but at least this’ll give an outset to everyone in the future; take advantage and don’t expect a reprieve. I can’t fucking believe you.

Here’s a beautiful song that points out exactly how I feel. Pay attention.

 

On top of this, I would like to make public how much I miss Matt Chan, Phil George, Mike Eaton and Paul Knowland. I love you guys and I miss how great shit used to be,

Out.

Thursday 15 October 2009

Why this world is so… Religulous!

Hey guys, I’ve been thinking a lot about religion for the last few months, I hadn’t thought too much into my ‘faith’ for the last few years until all this stuff about the EDL and UAF and posters made me very much interested in researching what all the current fuss is all about.

After realising my lack of faith and actually noticing that I am an atheist, I began looking at religion on a more regular basis and came to realise how flawed the whole idea of following the words of a book really is. Even with the amount of good will as you can draw from the scriptures of any religion, too many things have happened, are happening now and will no doubt happen in the future based on the sanctity of keeping religion alive – based on what? The book. Always the book. The book and the myth. You would think, based on how extreme and appalling acts based on religion are, more people would walk away from them, or at least speak up against the lunacy that surrounds faith in something that has no proof or eligible material to even back up a single piece of what it says.

Religion, no matter which one it is, has brought death and destruction into the world for hundreds of years and continues to do so on a daily basis. Let’s take this EDL vs. UAF madness for a start. Let’s forget who is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ on this level – maybe the EDL are racist, maybe they’re not. Maybe the UAF are communists or whatever else they’re accused of being, maybe they’re not – I’m not here to debate that. What I’m here to debate is the fact that it is through views upon religion that the recent riots came about such as violence against the police, as seen here…

The EDL are wrong for protesting against Islam as a whole religion, because it accuses everyone who follows it as an extremist. But it does make you wonder, from scenes like those shown above, how much easier the world would be if religion didn’t exist and how much more dangerous it becomes when it does. Let’s also not forget that craziness based on religion goes far beyond our shores, let’s look at America shall we?

Not every person under a religion acts this way, these are often minorities, but it is still a perfect example of religion turning to violence and disgusting acts of discrimination and hate based on the way people live or their opinions.

It is said that the difference between man and animal is intelligence. This isn’t to suggest animals are stupid! Of course, within their own habitats animals thrive better than man ever could, but then man could bring in a bulldozer, strip the land and build a mini mall and flourish there instead. Thus, the kind of intelligence I mean the ability to speak, think independently, complete complex mathematical equations, configure intricate machinery and contemplate the existence of the universe. Unfortunately, the intelligence to see the difference between myth and reality seems to be absent from a lot of people, which is a shame, as I’d hope we’d have that on top of all else, it’s called common sense.

Do you believe in Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny or Cupid? No, they are figureheads for fun events which keep children in line at times of need – be good or Santa won’t bring you any presents. Unfortunately, the event held by religion is death, which means people never let go of the fantasy because it is something you have to always live with and be in fear of; that lack of presents from God when the end comes is too much for people to bare if it exists, nobody wants to go to hell…or get a lump of coal in their stocking for that matter!

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Also, a lot of people say God has a plan for everyone. Tell me this, what plan did God have for the Jews during the holocaust? What plan did a merciful God have for those Muslims who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan during the 2 wars following the deaths of the 2000 Americans who died in the name of Islam? What plan does God have for children who are murdered by their parents in the UK every year? Show me the chance, the mercy, the plan.

Let’s face it, faith in religion is an excuse for people to close subjects they can not understand or accept, such as the death of others, crimes, illness and/or the end of life for just a start. Man does not understand all and therefore puts his entirety of faith into that magical box with Christianity or Islam or Judaism stamped on it and then relies on a book that is hundreds of years old – full of unmatched facts and contradictions which simply does not make sense to today’s society, but because of that lack of knowledge and/or because they were simply brought up to believe what they were told.

After talking to a friend of mine about this subject, he linked me to the trailer of Religulous; the comedy documentary presented by American talk-show host Bill Maher which basically confirmed my entire way of thinking and stopped me feeling bad for not believing in something I’ve never seen. The film is not only funny and informative, but it also raises some key points in the lengths people will go to in belief of their religion, such as thinking nuclear war would be a good thing, etc. I’ll close this blog with the way in which Bill closes his film; consider the danger of the entire world being run based on religious beliefs – from my opinion it goes beyond ridiculous – it’s lunacy.

Due to the inability to embed the final scene from YouTube, please follow the link below to see the final (and amazing) scene of Religulous :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGFV6RXJmCA

I want to point out that I don’t want to discourage people from having their faith, because everyone has their own opinion and their right to believe what they want and this is mine. What I am saying is that religion is far too important in today’s society and as someone who has chosen not to follow anything I’m personally sick of it. Stick to your books, don’t bring it into politics or the way in which a country runs. I, as an atheist, don’t get special treatment, so neither should you.

Reno

Sunday 4 October 2009

A message for Assed Baig

I have been contemplating this blog for some time now, there were many things that kept coming to me over the last few weeks as I walked around the Staffs Uni campus seeing more and more of the anti-fascist posters appear on walls, doors and windows across the area, as well as reading back over some of the debates Assed and I (along with many others) had over Facebook and MySpace last year following his GK News article which basically blamed the entirety of the world’s problems on white people.

Let’s start with a quick outline of this situation if you’re an outsider to Staffs Uni and/or previous events that surround this whole situation. Assed Baig is the current President of Staffordshire University’s Student Union. He is a campaigner for anti-fascist movements including campaigns against political parties like the BNP and EDL.

In 2007 he wrote an article in GK News (Staffs Uni’s monthly newspaper, now known as OMG Magazine) outlining his issues with British society and the ways in which white people are always used as heroes, along with his expression of blame for almost every problem in the world on white people – such as white people inventing the AK47 – which I guess removes all blame from the people who use them? Come on, that’s ridiculous, that’s like a murderer blaming whoever invented the knife. Anyway, after the article was printed there was an uproar across the university and the editor had to write an apology in the next issue. Nevertheless, Assed managed to find his way to the presidency of Staffs Uni’s Union, coincidentally because he accused his opponent of racist slander towards him, which I’ve seen no proof of, which leads me on to my next point.

My biggest issue with Assed and his campaigning is that he demonises white people at all times and never even raises the issue of racism towards white people, and I’ll tell you why, because he believes it does not exist. Me and a friend of mine (who gave examples of abuse he has received for being white) argued over this issue with Assed and he remained adamant that it does not exist. Then recently I read a disturbing quote where he said he did not care for a white girl who did not want to walk through Hanley park for fear of racial attacks. This, again, shows Assed’s one sided view on the whole issue. If he believes that racism is something that is only applicable to white-on-black then he has no position to campaign for anything, because it is far more than a one sided issue.

Another thing I noticed during our debates over the internet is how intentional he is in making everything a race issue. At any chance he gets, Assed will accuse any white person of being racist, as it seems to be at all times in this country. Question someone who isn’t white and you’re automatically a racist – which is what I was accused of being last year during said debates. To clarify this, what I said in one of my comments was that if he was so against the ways in which people live and think in this country then he should just leave – as I plan to one day. His response was “Why should I leave? I have as much right to stay as any white person.” – note that I did not mention the colour of his skin once, I made a remark based on his view of the country and that I similarly plan to follow my own advice – did I say “I plan to leave because I’m white”? Or “you should leave because you’re Asian”? No. This is a clear example of him using race as an issue whenever he can – which is fundamentally wrong and is so offensive to me, because he automatically branded me as a racist simply for making that judgement instead of realising it was a simple piece of advice.

I agree heartily that thugs like the BNP should not be allowed in British society politics, but I also don’t think it should be seen as a racist act to question things like Islamic protests in London with signs saying “Behead those who question Islam” – I mean come on, that would just be nonsense, I’m pretty sure people would say ‘wtf’ if I walked around with a sign saying something like that.

Assed Baig wants freedom of speech and equality, but only a certain kind, and that is just wrong. That is why I am against his presidency – because every single thing is about race and I don’t take his campaigning seriously because it is based on the opinions of someone who sees the world from an unequal viewpoint.

Much love,
Reno

Tuesday 22 September 2009

Freshers, Varsity and a new schedule

Hello friends, thanks for coming back to this little place my thoughts like to call home. I’ve decided that my blogs really are too sporadic and random these days. You’ll find me pledging more regular posts across the last year but I really want to make as much effort as possible to do regular blogs for you guys! So from now on there will be a new schedule – Wednesdays and Fridays will be new post days, with the possibility of one on a Sunday too (Sundays are so boring).

Anyway, the last few days have been hectic, what with this year’s freshers hitting Staffs Uni for another start up year of madness. It’s been great so far, really great to see them all settling in and having fun. I’ve met quite a few of them, been in halls, been in the LRV and also helped to inform them about Varsity Radio.

Speaking of which, things are getting really good for the station, the building is virtually finished, furnished and filled up with delightful stuff. Next comes the equipment and internet connection, followed by the final major steps of filling in the schedule and getting everyone into the station to meet for a day. Remember, Varsity is YOUR station, so get your ideas into us for what you want on air and also get involved as a Rep or as a presenter/staff member! Email Kris@varsityradio.co.uk for more information.

Speaking of Varsity Staff, I’d like to welcome Millie on board as the new Assistant Reps manager for the station, a good friend and an enthusiastic  fan of what Varsity is all about. Saturday and Monday saw a whole lot of new Reps coming on board with the station, mainly down to Millie’s influence. Bring on the next step of the spoken word campaign!

Lots of new music on the scene for Reno at the moment, I’m really enjoying Muse at the moment but the big new album I’m paying attention to is La Roux’s self titled album, it’s my new contender for Varsity Album of the Year!

Here’s my favourite track from the album…

Can’t get enough of my ramblings? Follow me on Twitter for more regular junk! www.twitter.com/renoxcore

Thursday 10 September 2009

8 years, no justice.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday 1 September 2009

Responsibilities of a gramophone

For the last year or so, I’ve been questioning bringing this up or not… I stopped doing it for a good while because I thought it would sound really pretentious and that I’d get flack for it, but I’ve decided if you’re one of the people who think that then you can go get fucked.

So here it is, I have an ulterior motive for having a dislike of both pop and r’n’b music. The reason for hating this kinds of music is because both the image and the message conveyed by artists in their songs, music videos and public appearances. Let’s take a look, for example, at a top selling pop artist at the moment – Lady Gaga. Almost every song she sings involves getting drunk, meeting guys, having sex or doing other promiscuous activities. Example, from the song ‘Love Game’;

Hold me and love me
Just want touch you for a minute
Baby three seconds is enough for my heart to quit
Let's have some fun,
This beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
Don't think too much just bust that kick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

 

Or how about this? Taken from ‘Ayo’ by 50 Cent…


Just how it be, on me, backstrokin', sweat soaking
All into my set sheets
When she ready to ride, I'm ready to roll
I'll be in this bitch till the club close
What should I do, one thing on all fours
Now that that shit should be against the law
From side to side, let the ride, break it down (down down)
You know I like, when you hike and you throw it all around
Different style, different move, damn I like the way you move
Girl you got me thinking about, all the things I do to you
Let's get it poppin' shorty we can switch positions
From the couch to the counters in my kitchen

Sounds responsible to me…


I’m aware that this attitude I have towards these kinds of artists looks like I’m trying to police people, or like my opinion of things should be how people live, and that’s not what I want to convey at all. Hell, maybe without music that states going out to find boys is essential then people would still go out, get fucked and have unprotected sex. But what concerns me is that these sort of lyrics hardly do much to try and promote people acting responsibly do they? And let’s face it, the next generations will already be listening to and singing along to these words – it’s them who I’m worried about most. These words, whether heavily influencing or not, are being drilled into kids’ minds constantly by a mainstream society which finds it not only acceptable but promotes this kind of music style which encourages such irresponsible behaviour, and to be honest it makes me sick. I mean, what kind of role model is this for the thousands of kids who look up to these girls…


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Here’s a nice little article from the BBC about the problems with drinking teens in this country, looks like I’m not alone in my opinion of the way mainstream society seems to be rearing its ugly head these days.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8227443.stm


Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming the music industry for those figures at all, I'm simply stating that the songs listened to by people in this demographic don’t attempt to downplay these actions at all.


The funny thing is, when you watch the adverts for drink aware campaigns on UK television, all you see is mainstream people. There’s no need to advertise to those of us going to gigs or rock clubs, because we’re not fucking idiots.


Of course, the music is only a small part of the problem, but it is a factor nonetheless. Get some alternative music in you, it has a much healthier message in it, I’d suggest starting with Green Day’s new album – but then I would say that.


So, let’s have some comments, do you think music writers have a responsibility to promote healthy behaviour? Or is music just music and has no effect on anyone’s actions? Would love to hear your opinions!


Reno

Saturday 29 August 2009

Reno is back!

On form, on top and boy do I have news!

I could write loads today, where I’ve been, all the gorey details, an update on my life during my missing weeks, etc – but I’d rather just say hey and tell you all that everything is absolutely amazing at the moment.

Varsity Radio is on the way up – building is finished, the furniture is set up, now begins the final stages of the setup; technology and man power! So, if you fancy broadcasting to 4 million students on the UK’s only national student radio station then give me a shout on kris@varsityradio.co.uk :D I also have a new business number, which you can ask for by emailing me :D

With the 8th anniversary of this century’s greatest lie looming ever nearer, I’ve decided to get back into my enthusiasm regarding politics and the truth behind the culture that all the sheep and dopes live behind. These issues are; the war in Afghanistan, politics here and in the US and also the mainstream culture – particularly the apparent obsession this country has with celebrity lives and why there are more pressing issues in the world than the count on the amount of times Katie Price’s new boyfriend tells her that he loves her, its pathetic and meaningless.

Long live the explaining of all things, stay tuned for new blogs, pictures and insight from your favourite Stokey.

Much love, Reno :)

 

Monday 3 August 2009

Friday 24 July 2009

Re: The Dilemma; Bloody Emo Kids!

For the last 5 or 6 years I’ve been seen as an emo kid, or scene, or whatever. Less so these days, but it still happens, I used to get it sometimes from the guys at 47, but we still loved each other :P

Anyway, I got thinking before about how pathetic these images and scenes can really seem, I mean particularly the ones who put no effort in and look very…half arsed about it. The wanabes. The 16 year olds who seem to have no direction. I saw 2 kids on the bus last weekend who made me chuckle, they reminded me of myself and so many other friends at their age, I felt so silly. They weren’t emo kids, they were that strange combination of greebo kids acting out to the extent their parents will let them – keeping their hair colour but wearing those checkered bags and fingerless gloves, trilby hats and random badges. They were on the tipping edge of commitment, I know that the next few months would be the time they decided whether to fit in or fit out. I wish them luck with it.

When I wrote the ‘Dilemma’ blog earlier this week regarding my image, I was so worried I was hanging on to my youth, but thinking about those kids on the bus has made me realise that I’m not, I’m crafting an image for my future, I am maturing at my own rate – like a fine cheese. Not the best analogy. Anyway, all in all it made me realise that we all go through it one way or another (unless you’re boring) and that in fairness I am more mature than first thought.

Another thing about it is the fact that I can say I have been a part of cultural history with every step I took (and continue to take) with this alternative lifestyle. All those people who grew up through the other phases of life (mods’n’rockers etc) made their impact on British culture and won’t ever forget it – well neither will I forget this. It goes beyond that though, we should never forget how amazing each one of us are and how much of a difference we make every day. Remember what I wrote a few months back about colliding into each other and finding the person of our dreams without even realising it? Well take that beyond two people falling in love and place it into the jigsaw of life – a flowing image of never ending electricity between people and beautiful pictures made through our own creation.

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Smile.

 

Tuesday 21 July 2009

Reno’s moans: Why I hate the internet

I could go on about this for a fucking age but I’ll make it quick, a big reason I hate the internet these days is the amount of weight loss adverts splattered all over websites, ones which blatantly lie about their results. For example…

 

It doesn’t take a freaking genius to realise that’s not the same girl in the thinner picture. How about this; stop trying to lose weight without effort, drop the snickers, get off your fat arse and go for a walk – in time make that a jog. Harry knows where it’s at.

I’m sick of these adverts, they work in the same respect as get rich quick scams on the net; the only thing worse than them is the group of morons who fall for it.

DONE!

Sunday 19 July 2009

The Dilemma

I’ve wanted to write about this for a while but couldn’t think of a suitable outlet for my opinions and worries. I don’t even know if this is the right place, I thought about writing anonymously in some forums or Yahoo answers to get some thoughts would be a good idea, but I guess this is where my thoughts should be written, it’s what blogging is all about. Okay, every year or so, I go through a period of doubt and indecision about who I am. Generally I lack self confidence in most areas but when I go through one of these phases (as I am now) I go down another notch and I just consider my life in every aspect in a criticised and confused way. Though possibly constructive in motive, this process is mostly pathetic and completely unnecessary. It comes down to three things;

Image
Mind
Age

What I mean by this is worrying about who I am, in terms of how I put myself across as a person to the rest of the world. I mean, I love sticking to this alternative look and stuff, it’s who I feel I should be, but at the same time I’m 21 – going on 22, should I not have grown out of this by now? Should I not be a little more mature and begin sticking to something a little more ‘normal’? But then I answer that and say “well no, because I’ve never been normal, I’ve refused to follow the crowds since I was 15.” But I was 15 then, and okay, staying that way while you’re a student is fair enough because it is a known trait of students to assert their individuality – which I did and I loved it. But now I’m a graduate, I’m not a student anymore, I’m a person with the responsibility to start building his own life. But then, from this comes Varsity Radio – for the next 5 years (at least) I’m going to be building this student enterprise – being the voice of students on their radio station. So do I need to stay in the student frame of mind? Then I’ll turn that around and say “well there’s a difference between mind and image”.

See how complicated this is getting? It gets worse.

Beyond that I could say “only a fraction of students are really alternative people, so this whole argument is flawed anyway" – I guess I could still represent the student life without forcing myself to adhere to this ‘look’ that I feebly attempt to pull off.

Last year I tried my hardest to let go of this image, as I did the summer before (2007) and the summer before that (2006) and both times it destroyed my soul. Sounds overdramatic, sorry. Anyway, when I did that, I hated the idea of letting go of this image and therefore let go of the group of people I feel most comfortable with. If I do it, I’ll end up not feeling right in the places I love and okay going to the places that I hate (i.e. normal nightclubs etc). When I did it before, I felt out of place at gigs and rock nights because I didn’t look the way that people there do – the way I love to look. So now you’re saying “for gods sake look that way then” – but I yearn daily to change my life a bit and grow up. If I don’t now, will I ever? I mean my brothers (and other mates) went through this stage and still enjoy alternative music without forcing ideals of a particular scene or style upon themselves, so what’s wrong with me doing that? The answer: I don’t know. I’ve always had issues with letting go of my youth, which is a big reason why I hate letting go of this style – it’s who I’ve been since I was a teenager – the years I loved the most.

I like to idolise my musical influences by sticking their posters everywhere, you can’t turn your head in my bedroom without seeing Oli Sykes, Dallas Green, Rob Flynn, Craig Owens or Ronnie Radke. These are the people who inspired me to be who I am today and I love them for that, but where does it leave me? If I drop this image will I feel inappropriate in having them on my walls, by growing up in image do I have to change my attitude and pull down all these posters and have a room with a coffee table and a suit already ironed for tomorrow and a time card for work? See there’s much more to changing how I look in this, it’s about fundamentally changing who I am as a person – on the inside and outside. I’m afraid of doing that – that’s what it comes down to. Maybe by refusing to let go of my youth I’m refusing to admit to the life of an adult – bills, jobs, responsibilities. Who knows.

I guess it comes down to compromise and finding a middle ground – as Lou put it “toning it down”. I’ve started doing that, lets see how it goes.

You’re probably screaming at the screen to “get over it” or “grow up” or “stop being pathetic” or better yet, the all time greatest, “just be yourself” – but there lies the problem; who am I? I can pull off virtually any ‘look’ but how which one should it be? Which one is me? It’s come down to a case of mistaken identity – I’ve lost myself.

Since when was image so important? Since I became a fucking egotistical moron.

Out.

Friday 17 July 2009

The Next Chapter

So I promised to blog every day last week, turned out there wasn’t enough for me to say and too much for me to do during those days, so I ‘jibbed it off’ as my comrade Phil would say.

Speaking of Phil (and my other comrades), everyone is gone now. It’s all over. Uni has really properly finished now, it’s weird to be honest. I’ve got a lot of pics I could share with you but I don’t want to make this post too heavy on photos and I don’t want to make it all about the past – as this blog is now going to focus on the next chapter of my life; the life of a Graduate. Before we get there though, here’s some of those awesome pics from the final week at 47 Ashford Street, aka, Death Weasel house or The Ashford Arms.

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Graduation was hella fun, very surreal though. Still feels like everyone will be back in 2 months. Odd.

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On the night before we left (Saturday) Matt let everyone write on his hot air balloon thingy and then we lit it and set it free over the skies of Stoke. It went bloody far! There’s a video somewhere, I might upload it if you’re lucky. Then came Sunday and the move – unfortunately I don’t have any pics of the new room or the move itself but it all went well and I’m settled in now. It’s a nice house with lovely housemates so I’m happy :D If you want my new address please feel free to ask!

Varsity Radio is on the move, funding is coming in, we’ve got the business plan completed, we’ve got our premises sorted and we’ve got a brand new website on the way. The logo is different too, check it out!

final-orange-badgeHope you like it!!

Got a job interview at The Monkey Forest in Trentham tomoro, wish me luck! See you soon guys, here’s today’s song!!

Reno x