Friday, 24 July 2009

Re: The Dilemma; Bloody Emo Kids!

For the last 5 or 6 years I’ve been seen as an emo kid, or scene, or whatever. Less so these days, but it still happens, I used to get it sometimes from the guys at 47, but we still loved each other :P

Anyway, I got thinking before about how pathetic these images and scenes can really seem, I mean particularly the ones who put no effort in and look very…half arsed about it. The wanabes. The 16 year olds who seem to have no direction. I saw 2 kids on the bus last weekend who made me chuckle, they reminded me of myself and so many other friends at their age, I felt so silly. They weren’t emo kids, they were that strange combination of greebo kids acting out to the extent their parents will let them – keeping their hair colour but wearing those checkered bags and fingerless gloves, trilby hats and random badges. They were on the tipping edge of commitment, I know that the next few months would be the time they decided whether to fit in or fit out. I wish them luck with it.

When I wrote the ‘Dilemma’ blog earlier this week regarding my image, I was so worried I was hanging on to my youth, but thinking about those kids on the bus has made me realise that I’m not, I’m crafting an image for my future, I am maturing at my own rate – like a fine cheese. Not the best analogy. Anyway, all in all it made me realise that we all go through it one way or another (unless you’re boring) and that in fairness I am more mature than first thought.

Another thing about it is the fact that I can say I have been a part of cultural history with every step I took (and continue to take) with this alternative lifestyle. All those people who grew up through the other phases of life (mods’n’rockers etc) made their impact on British culture and won’t ever forget it – well neither will I forget this. It goes beyond that though, we should never forget how amazing each one of us are and how much of a difference we make every day. Remember what I wrote a few months back about colliding into each other and finding the person of our dreams without even realising it? Well take that beyond two people falling in love and place it into the jigsaw of life – a flowing image of never ending electricity between people and beautiful pictures made through our own creation.

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Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Reno’s moans: Why I hate the internet

I could go on about this for a fucking age but I’ll make it quick, a big reason I hate the internet these days is the amount of weight loss adverts splattered all over websites, ones which blatantly lie about their results. For example…


It doesn’t take a freaking genius to realise that’s not the same girl in the thinner picture. How about this; stop trying to lose weight without effort, drop the snickers, get off your fat arse and go for a walk – in time make that a jog. Harry knows where it’s at.

I’m sick of these adverts, they work in the same respect as get rich quick scams on the net; the only thing worse than them is the group of morons who fall for it.


Sunday, 19 July 2009

The Dilemma

I’ve wanted to write about this for a while but couldn’t think of a suitable outlet for my opinions and worries. I don’t even know if this is the right place, I thought about writing anonymously in some forums or Yahoo answers to get some thoughts would be a good idea, but I guess this is where my thoughts should be written, it’s what blogging is all about. Okay, every year or so, I go through a period of doubt and indecision about who I am. Generally I lack self confidence in most areas but when I go through one of these phases (as I am now) I go down another notch and I just consider my life in every aspect in a criticised and confused way. Though possibly constructive in motive, this process is mostly pathetic and completely unnecessary. It comes down to three things;


What I mean by this is worrying about who I am, in terms of how I put myself across as a person to the rest of the world. I mean, I love sticking to this alternative look and stuff, it’s who I feel I should be, but at the same time I’m 21 – going on 22, should I not have grown out of this by now? Should I not be a little more mature and begin sticking to something a little more ‘normal’? But then I answer that and say “well no, because I’ve never been normal, I’ve refused to follow the crowds since I was 15.” But I was 15 then, and okay, staying that way while you’re a student is fair enough because it is a known trait of students to assert their individuality – which I did and I loved it. But now I’m a graduate, I’m not a student anymore, I’m a person with the responsibility to start building his own life. But then, from this comes Varsity Radio – for the next 5 years (at least) I’m going to be building this student enterprise – being the voice of students on their radio station. So do I need to stay in the student frame of mind? Then I’ll turn that around and say “well there’s a difference between mind and image”.

See how complicated this is getting? It gets worse.

Beyond that I could say “only a fraction of students are really alternative people, so this whole argument is flawed anyway" – I guess I could still represent the student life without forcing myself to adhere to this ‘look’ that I feebly attempt to pull off.

Last year I tried my hardest to let go of this image, as I did the summer before (2007) and the summer before that (2006) and both times it destroyed my soul. Sounds overdramatic, sorry. Anyway, when I did that, I hated the idea of letting go of this image and therefore let go of the group of people I feel most comfortable with. If I do it, I’ll end up not feeling right in the places I love and okay going to the places that I hate (i.e. normal nightclubs etc). When I did it before, I felt out of place at gigs and rock nights because I didn’t look the way that people there do – the way I love to look. So now you’re saying “for gods sake look that way then” – but I yearn daily to change my life a bit and grow up. If I don’t now, will I ever? I mean my brothers (and other mates) went through this stage and still enjoy alternative music without forcing ideals of a particular scene or style upon themselves, so what’s wrong with me doing that? The answer: I don’t know. I’ve always had issues with letting go of my youth, which is a big reason why I hate letting go of this style – it’s who I’ve been since I was a teenager – the years I loved the most.

I like to idolise my musical influences by sticking their posters everywhere, you can’t turn your head in my bedroom without seeing Oli Sykes, Dallas Green, Rob Flynn, Craig Owens or Ronnie Radke. These are the people who inspired me to be who I am today and I love them for that, but where does it leave me? If I drop this image will I feel inappropriate in having them on my walls, by growing up in image do I have to change my attitude and pull down all these posters and have a room with a coffee table and a suit already ironed for tomorrow and a time card for work? See there’s much more to changing how I look in this, it’s about fundamentally changing who I am as a person – on the inside and outside. I’m afraid of doing that – that’s what it comes down to. Maybe by refusing to let go of my youth I’m refusing to admit to the life of an adult – bills, jobs, responsibilities. Who knows.

I guess it comes down to compromise and finding a middle ground – as Lou put it “toning it down”. I’ve started doing that, lets see how it goes.

You’re probably screaming at the screen to “get over it” or “grow up” or “stop being pathetic” or better yet, the all time greatest, “just be yourself” – but there lies the problem; who am I? I can pull off virtually any ‘look’ but how which one should it be? Which one is me? It’s come down to a case of mistaken identity – I’ve lost myself.

Since when was image so important? Since I became a fucking egotistical moron.


Friday, 17 July 2009

The Next Chapter

So I promised to blog every day last week, turned out there wasn’t enough for me to say and too much for me to do during those days, so I ‘jibbed it off’ as my comrade Phil would say.

Speaking of Phil (and my other comrades), everyone is gone now. It’s all over. Uni has really properly finished now, it’s weird to be honest. I’ve got a lot of pics I could share with you but I don’t want to make this post too heavy on photos and I don’t want to make it all about the past – as this blog is now going to focus on the next chapter of my life; the life of a Graduate. Before we get there though, here’s some of those awesome pics from the final week at 47 Ashford Street, aka, Death Weasel house or The Ashford Arms.

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Graduation was hella fun, very surreal though. Still feels like everyone will be back in 2 months. Odd.

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On the night before we left (Saturday) Matt let everyone write on his hot air balloon thingy and then we lit it and set it free over the skies of Stoke. It went bloody far! There’s a video somewhere, I might upload it if you’re lucky. Then came Sunday and the move – unfortunately I don’t have any pics of the new room or the move itself but it all went well and I’m settled in now. It’s a nice house with lovely housemates so I’m happy :D If you want my new address please feel free to ask!

Varsity Radio is on the move, funding is coming in, we’ve got the business plan completed, we’ve got our premises sorted and we’ve got a brand new website on the way. The logo is different too, check it out!

final-orange-badgeHope you like it!!

Got a job interview at The Monkey Forest in Trentham tomoro, wish me luck! See you soon guys, here’s today’s song!!

Reno x

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Sun and Rain

Gosh it’s been hot recently, have been barely surviving at times! Oh well, today and yesterday has seen a lot of rain, so that’s a strangely refreshing respite from the burning sun!


Earlier this week I was watching a movie called ‘The Obama Deception’ by Alex Jones who runs and was quite compelled. I’ve always been a fan of Obama but some of the stuff raised in the film is interesting, if it’s true. And here lies the problem – Alex is a great speaker and very well informed, a little stupid at times (some of the things he says on the spot seem a little misguided) but he is still very dead-on with what he believes. However, if you take notice to his earlier career he has been shouting things at politicians since the early 90’s (if not earlier) and it raises a question – is he a bit nuts? I mean, I agree with some of the stuff raised by him (and others) regarding 9/11 and the general war on ‘terror’, but he appears to lash out any person with power above him and thinks they’re all in on something. And the other thing I have to question, while being a part of this ‘truth movement’ is where we are going, I mean…let’s say it was completely uncovered that someone in the Bush Government had knowledge of 9/11 and it was publicised and sorted – what does that do for us? Okay someone goes to jail. Then what? We show the world that America (and by association the UK probably) is compromised by scandals and internal problems…where does that lead us?! Showing we’re completely fucked and leaving us to attacks (politically I mean) by anyone outside our countries. The other thing, if there is a subliminal cushion of lies and secrets keeping us in line, what would we do without it? Perhaps lies are what we NEED – whether dirty or not, it would suggest that the key infrastructure of the Western World is probably based on this form of secret keeping (no matter how small or big they are) and that if they’re taken away then we probably wouldn’t know how to function. I don’t know if that’s the case, but the world is a little too complicated to make it as simple as “arrest Chaney” or “stop lying to the public” – and so there is my dilemma; as much as I support the ‘9/11 was an inside job’ theory, I just don’t know what the in-the-end aims are of this cause. Maybe I’m losing a bit of faith. I just don’t know anymore.

Tomorrow sees the first day of the 'last week’ in this house. Sure, I’ll be here for 8 days, but Sunday won’t be a full day, so my final full week begins at midnight tonight. So for this reason, I’ll be blogging every day AND video blogging too, so stay tuned here and also on my YouTube channel.

Here is today’s song peeps!

Reno x