…and all through the house
No blogger was stirring
Not even James Grouse (who’s he?)
Reno WAS! Muhahaha
What’s new kids? I feel rather humbled at this moment. I’ve taken another step into letting go of being such a wound up prick tonight. I’m embarrassed to an extent but I’ll admit to this because a decision I made last night means that I have to – for the sake of me!
I’ll start with the decision that took me here. I realised that this last year has seen changes in me that I put into place for the sake of fitting in. Look into the days of old Reno; from the end of High School through college I was very… ‘emo’… and that’s how i identified myself a lot of the time, though I would always say that I want to stay away from labeling people – particularly myself.
Either way, that’s what I was (or trying to be) but at the end of college I thought it was time to grow up and move out of it before uni, so I cut all the hair off and I became a wanabe trendy mofo (as seen below…)
I know this is becoming an ego gallery here, but I’m getting to a point!!
SO! I got to uni, trendy Reno, shortish blonde hair… then the independence hit and I realised that the REAL Reno never conformed and officially I never would – I know that even in the future I’ll still be alternative in some way. So over the months I became more hardcore than ever, see below.
Damn I miss that fringe…
Then second year came along and I remained the chick magnet Xcore that everyone knew for a few months. But then, I began to fall back into that conforming mindset, mainly in an attempt to bag a particular girl – subconsciously to a certain extent; I know that’s why I did it, but I never realised it at the time. I cut my hair off, bleached it, bought trendy t-shirts, and slowly became something/someone that I didn’t even recognise anymore.
Then Katie and I split up, and I reformed into the summer Reno who likes to be very emo and stick to the same pair of shorts every day and goes back to black hair. I dunno if it was summer that did that to me or if it was my freedom from convention on my relationship. But now we’re all back in Uni and what have I done? Cut my hair off and bleached it and remained in my conformed old self, I still don't recognise me – and that’s wrong. The most stupid thing is that Katie and I still aren’t together and yet I’m still keeping myself this way for some odd reason…maybe to impress her? I don’t know. Infact that isn’t the most stupid thing, Katie and I first met and showed interest in first year when I was mega emo, so why do I see it in my head as compulsory to try and be someone she (and my immediate friend circle) would accept?
Anyway, I realised last night that being myself is the most important thing I could do/be at this point in my life, and if that means being a 21 year old scene kid then so be it. Within this admittance of who I am, I covered up a lot of things I felt would embarrass me as a person, but now I can’t be bothered with keeping my barriers up trying to hide who I am and what my tastes are. I criticise enough things in modern culture (see blog below this one) so it’s only fiar for me to take criticism from others than try and hide from it. So here I am, telling you that I like Fall Out Boy and I like My Chemical Romance. I downloaded both band’s most recent albums and I personally can’t get enough of the song ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ and ‘I Don’t Care’ from FOB. The thing is, I would be ashamed to tell people this for the fear of looking like someone who is following a trend or not being hardcore enough, but my music taste is so open in reality that I listen to almost anything! As a future Radio DJ I don’t have the privilege to close my music tastes, and to be honest I don’t think I’d want to even if I did! Music is my love, my life, my passion. I wouldn’t deny myself that for fear of reprisal before, so why do it for the last year?
RENO IS BACK BABY!
I’m really sorry for getting away with myself on this post and it not being very Christmassy but I want to tell you all that I’m thinking of you and that I hope all your days are as good as mine will be tomorrow! In the evening I’ll be uploading pictures of my day and there’ll be a special gift just for you (here’s a hint, novel exclusive…oh that’s more of a giveaway than a hint…woops!)
Anyway, sleep well peeps and look for part 2 tomoro!!