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Thursday, 5 June 2008

Living in the past

God i miss the old days.
I mean, uni is fun and all, but that one summer before everything changed plays on my mind so much. I'm talking about the summer of 2004 - undoubtedly the best summer of my life.

Let me paint a picture for you.

The summer began with GCSE results, the night before results day Lito (my girlfriend, first love) came to stay with me. We had watched a DVD, had something to eat and just had a lovely evening. Then we went to bed, the next morning mum woke us up to a blazing sunny AM and a hastened drive down to the high school. Mum was so supportive, I loved it because she was so keen to know how well me and Lito had both done, she really is a great Mum. She waited in the hallway while me and Lito (along with a lot of other nervous kids) went into the main hall for our results. I was happy with my results, thought none were above a C, but I got into college and that's all that mattered. Lito got her grades and began to cry because of how well she did, I was so proud of her, being the one to comfort her was something that made me feel so important in this amazing person's life. I really was head-over-heels in love those days, I'd do anything to get that feeling back. Anyway, after we got our results and Lito had stopped crying, we found my best mate Tom and told Mum we were going to walk home instead of getting a lift. We walked and chatted about the future, it was so relaxed and fun - not a care in the world. We went into the Angel pub where I worked and chatted to the cleaner Janice (she could talk for Britain) and then carried on home. At lunch time Mum took me, Lito and Tom out for lunch at Frankie and Bennies, such a lovely lunch and atmosphere, again Mum was the best person in the world and paid for the whole thing then took us shopping.

The days after that aren't really rememberable in specifics, but as soon as the holidays were in swing and we hit July/August time there was a very deffinate routine to my life;
Mum would go away to see Alan (my step dad - though they weren't married at the time) for weekends or sometimes whole weeks at a time and me and Lito were left to our own devices. I would work Saturday and Sunday mornings at the Angel and Lito was always waiting at home for me when I finished. Mum always made sure there was food in the house and in return I respected her rules and made sure the house wasn't a total mess all the time. Most afternoons would be spent with my best friends Tom, Chris, Rich and Paul around where we lived and we went nuts. Lots of filming of our jackass videos during that time, I can guartentee that happened.

It really was the best summer ever, freedom to do what I want, in love with the most amazing girl ever and great weather throughout - nothing ever put a downer on the situation and if I ever had the chance to go back and relive a period of my life I'd go there and just do it all over again. I wish I could speak to my 16 year old self and tell him to make the most of the situation, because he sure is going to miss it.

The thing that remains is, is it right for me to live in the past like this? I mean, okay it's good to remeniss about it every once in a while but I miss it so much, I've changed as a person and I know I'll never have that freedom ever again - kinda scary to be honest. I dunno, it's just a thought. Thanks for reading my rambles.

I guess one thing I've learnt while writing this is that I have the best Mum I could ever ask for, and I really don't appreciate her. Love you Mummy x


  1. heya Kris - I know that feeling.... i think reminiscing is good... but trying to find out what about it made you really happy, and whether you can create it is even better. we all love a bit of freedom, but freedom comes in different forms... and now we're older, we apparently have to earn it with lots of hard work, so we can do what we want to do....
    i suppose we all have to grow up at some point... just a matter of have the right attitude I suppose.

    but for a second i'd like to be the 30 year old you, talking to the current you and saying "treasure every moment, make the most of it"... just a thought.

    and my favourite phrase of all time 'learn as if you were going to live forever, live as if you were going to die tomorrow' - Ghandi

  2. and I love your mum too! :) much love to Auntie Karen!